Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Dreams of pregnancy

No, I have no desire to get pregnant anytime soon – if ever… probably never, actually. However, what my nifty little headline refers to are actual dreams I’ve been having about once a year for the past 4-5 years.

What interesting is that these dreams always seem to follow the same storyline, even if the scenery is always changing:

Part 1) The dream begins and suddenly I look down and see my VERY pregnant belly (we’re talking 8 months pregnant). At first I always seem to get very happy at this discovery, but this feeling only lasts for about 10 seconds. Then comes…

Part 2) PANIC! I am not at all ready to have a child. What am I gonna do? What about that trip we’re taking to New York next month? Well, we’ll have to cancel that. And I’ll have to tell my workplace that I’m going on maternity leave in like a day or two…

Part 3) HOW did this even happen? At this point I’m always with my dear wife and telling her that I swear I haven’t been cheating on her (which I never would in ANY case, and she knows this). Besides, I’m a Goldstar lesbian (you know, never had sex with a man), so we’d really be talking Immaculate Conception here.

Part 4) My wife believes me and seems much calmer than me, which is always very comforting. There’s not even the tiniest doubt or confusion… obviously she just got me pregnant and we’re not surprised that our lesbian lovechild is making me look 8 months pregnant within a day or two. But me, I’m still in a state of panic and feel like my life is ending.

Part 5) I wake up and immediately feel my stomach and breathe a heavy sigh of relief… then I wake up Wifey and tell her I’ve had a scary dream, and she holds me.

However, as the years go by (and more of our friends start getting babies), my REAL concern is if I ever have this dream and I don’t panic. What will this mean? And will I then panic when I wake up because I’ll suddenly feel an overwhelming need to get pregnant as soon as possible.

Only time will tell… but for now, I have ALL that I need and I am so immensely thankful for everything. :o)

Living in bliss,
- GayGirl

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