Friday, March 4, 2011

It's okay if you're not gay

Yes, I am finally back. I've had so very many things to say, but not enough time to share those things - at least not as in depth as I'd like to. And I'm really not good at doing things half-assed.
Anyway, here I am, still gay (but of course) and that's okay. But it's also okay if you're NOT gay. See, I've been accused of thinking everybody's gay. You've probably been met with the line "Oh, you people..." because really, it not about YOU, and you might as well realize that at any given time, the things you say and do, reflect on all gay people. Anyway, the line is "Oh, you people think everyone is gay!" And if you haven't heard it yet, then just wait for it. It will happen. A couple of years ago, this is definitely the words you would've heard, if you'd dare imply that Portia de Rossi was gay - and we all know how Mrs. DeGeneres identifies now, don't we?! Yes, I am feeling smug about that one. Very!

But really, I don't think everyone is gay. Not at all. However, I would like to shoot this back "Oh, you straight people, think no one is gay!" And this is something that has bothered me for a while and now I have a very current example where this is extremely evident: Pretty Little Liars!

Oh, I LOVE the show... Really, I'm addicted to it! Just like millions of other people. And like the rest of "my people", I love seeing a gay character, Emily Fields (the girl resting on the red velvet chaise with the most seductive smile in the picture below, played by the gorgeous Shay Mitchell), completely out and proud and so very sure of who she is.

This is amazing and a very new thing in television. Particularly in teen shows. And where the girl is drop dead gorgeous. I mean, not a single episode has gone by - since she came out and said she was gay - where she hasn't said this out loud again and/or kissed a girl. There is no doubt that this girl is gay, because she has no doubt that she's gay. And I love it!

But if you look at the comments regarding who Emily should be with - i.e. when the producers ask this question in the official Facebook group and give the choices Paige or Maya - then the name "Toby" continues to come up. Umm, hallo, she's GAY! And yes, we, the gay people, want Spencer to find a nice girl as well, and we joke (and hope and dream) about this, but we don't seriously think or believe this is an actual option. People DO however seem to think Toby (a guy) is a possible love interest for Emily (a gay girl). Why is that? To quote a recent episode of US Skins "What don't you get about being a lesbian?" You would think that even if the words aren't sinking in, then the actions should. And there's been quite a bit of action - enjoy:

Even the producers know people still think of Emily as an "open sexuality" girl, so they include Toby as an option when asking who the viewers want to see Emily with. This irked me at first, but then I realized they just want to know how many are hanging on to this idea of Toby and Emily. And I understand, respect and accept that. Hell, I want to know the answer to that one as well.

 My point - and once again, I do have one - is simply this: Why is it that being gay is all too often perceived as a temporary feeling, a fleeting emotion or "a phase"? But being straight, on the other hand, is considered the constant. The sexuality that we are all born with and so this is the starting point and therefor also the place you return to when you're done experimenting. People can marry a person of the same-sex and still, you hear their sexuality questioned. Fine, being with someone of the same sex might not make the person gay, but it certainly DOES mean they're not straight. A person married to someone of the opposite sex however, is always perceived as being straight. But really, they might as well be bisexual, if we go by the standard applied to same-sex couples.

If you're of the belief that we all have a fluid sexuality and are essentially bisexual at birth and have this as the origin, then that's fine by me. I can certainly accept this notion though I have found my place in the spectrum and know that I have "floated" to the gay end of the sexuality pool. And look, right next to me is Emily Fields... kissing a girl and saying "I'm gay". And that makes me proud!

Also, the vast majority of people taking ABCfamily's poll on Emily's love interest is agreeing with me. And that just thrills me to pieces:

Have a great weekend! :o)
- GG


*** GayGirl *** said...

P.S. Thank you for all your sweet and encouraging comments on this blog. I'll try to be on my best behaviour and post regularly in the future. :o)

Much love,
- GayGirl

Anonymous said...

My name is Clara and I study Advertising and PR in the University of Girona (Catalonia). We were asked to create a blog about whatever we wanted. I chose LGBT news as my topic. We were asked to get in touch with people who, in some way, were related to our blog and encourage them to comment our posts, follow us or add us on their blogrolls. As you will see it's in Catalan, but there's a translator in English which is quite reliable ^^ However, in some time I try to translate it myself ;)

I found your blog and I thought you could be interested ;)

Here's the link:

I really hope you like it.
Thanks for your time ;)

PS: I've never watched this series. I've heard of it quite a lot though, so maybe I should watch it some time! :D

*** GayGirl *** said...

Hi Clara!

Your blog looks great, so I'm adding it to my blogroll and adding it to the list of blogs I recommend - also, I'm heading over there to comment on some posts now. ;o)

- GG