Feeling numb

I am truly amazed that Obama actually made it, and so very happy that he did - even if I still wish it had been Hillary, but I've come to terms with that. LOL, well, maybe not quite, but I AM happy with the result and think it's amazing in so many ways.

However, everything - all the progress and happiness I felt at first -- when it was clear that Obama had won -- was extremely diminished by the result of Prop. 8.

I don't even live in California, but where I do live we "only" have domestic partnership, so I understand the significance and possible repercussions of this result. I guess that's why I've been going through the same thing. I sat at work and constantly hit the refresh button hoping and wishing that the result would suddenly start going in the opposite direction... But it never happened. Meanwhile everyone around me we SO excited about Obama winning, but I simply felt robbed of the "amazing and historic progress" that everyone was thrilled about.
Probably because I know that Wifey and I (yes, I will forever call her “wife” even if we don’t have “marriage”) would’ve gotten married over the summer, if we lived in CA.

However, when I saw pictures and footage from the impromptu march, I realized that this is far from over. But I'm still heartbroken by the result.

I guess I just can't understand why my ability to get married affects anybody else. I mean, I could marry and divorce a new murderer, rapist, child abuser, WHATEVER, every year. Well, as long as that person is a man. But to marry the person I love, I need to have permission from the majority? Well then, if you get to decide who I can marry, shouldn’t I have a say in who you can marry as well?

Actually, at first I thought Prop. 8 was fine, cause I really couldn’t imagine that it would be passed. I guess I underestimated how much people enjoy having power over other people’s lives. I mean, you can watch me walking down the street with a girl one day, and if we get married that very night and you see us again the next day, you would STILL just see two girls walking down the street. It changes absolutely nothing in your life, but you still want to exercise your power when you have the ability.

Feeling sad and confused,
- GG

P.S. Sorry about the lack of posts - I've just been very busy and very umm, well, numb after the election. I'm back now though. ;o)